Strangest deal in disappointment.
Jan. 26th, 2012 02:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
clessaileronAlright, I'll start off by saying it right now. I've beaten Duke Nukem Forever.
After the game getting infamous for being in development hell and the game being released (to critic's lashing), I have one thing to say.
It's a disappointment. However, it's not exactly what you're thinking when I say it's a disappointment.
(Oh and since it's Duke Nukem, we're getting into offensive territory, so brace yourselves)
Duke Nukem Forever is merely average. The game is playable but doesn't really stand out (in fact, I'll probably say the game does suffer from an identity crisis). I actually do see the graphics aren't that good that it really does look like an Xbox 360 launch title (funny enough, it was the Xbox 360 version I was playing here. Also, I have played Perfect Dark Zero, which was an Xbox 360 launch title and I got that feeling too from Duke Nukem Forever's graphics). As for gameplay, it's all over the place. The shooting is fine but one moment, you're blasting alien scumbags, next you're just interacting with the environment (as an entire level), then killing alien, then doing a puzzle, etc. It's hard to make out if it was any good. Actually I didn't seem to have any problems with it but they certain don't stand out in anyway.
Some of the jokes that aren't offensive just comes off as dated. When Duke is killing the pig enemies, he does make a remark about pork chop sandwiches. Also, there was a super armor similar to Master Chief from Halo, and Duke said it's for pussies (mocking the modern day mechanics of taking cover to recover health/shield, yet his game is using the same mechanics). Yeah, it would have worked better if the game was release around the first Halo and ended up being the smash hit that it became. Yet, they're taking a stab at it...when Halo's too busy celebrating its tenth anniversary. You know those parody movies like "Epic Movie" or "Date Movie"? It's like one of those.
As for the offensiveness (I mean it is Duke Nukem)...well, there's already that thing about the hive level (plus an abortion joke). Outside of that, any other jokes seem to fall flat on its face. I was reminded of stuff in the strip club level, where there was a poster of... Tampon parties? Yeah, I can't tell what the deal is with that. Are they desperately trying too hard with being offensive?
Then there's a couple of Olsen twins knockoffs and while they were only in the beginning, man they really grate me. It makes do one of those exaggerated acts of putting a fake gun to my head as a way to say, "End it now!" To get a little blue with the jokes here...this is supposed to be sexy? I'm sorry, my hormones ran away because they were turned off by the bimbos! Yeah, even my hormones were offended! Yeah, I'm a guy and even I find those two to be degrading to women! They practically say, "We are only good for having sex with and nothing more!"
Now, I can enjoy offensive material/jokes. I mean, I do watch South Park! The difference is that South Park can be offensive and witty. In fact, I also think of a movie the creators of South Park did, Team America: World Police. One bit about the three kinds of people in this world is pretty much the example I use for "Offensive but witty" from that movie. Oh yeah, while I'm on the topic of Team America: World Police, Duke Nukem did make a reference to it via, "America. FUCK YEAH!" (only thing is, it didn't really work in the game because there wasn't really anything satirical in referencing it at the spot. Not to mention, the catchy rock theme song is satirical). All I'm saying is that the offensive stuff I mentioned has none of the wit that South Park has when being offensive.
This was a punchline I made in regards to what conclusion I made in regards to Duke Nukem Forever:
"Okay, guys! I really am offended by Duke Nukem Forever!
I'm offended by how average the game is! I know it will never live up to the 12+ years of hype in development hell, but it can't even live up to the hype of being a crappy game? Yeah, even that aspect fail to live up to the hype."
Yeah, somehow, Duke Nukem Forever managed to failed at being low brow. Then again, let's be honest. The whole reason you even decided to play it is because the game was actually released. Yeah, doesn't even matter if someone was already a fan of Duke Nukem 3D. Novelty is mainly the only thing this game has going for it. Not even that dreadfully boring Xbox 360 RPG Too Human has that, which had almost as long of a time in development hell like DNF had but wasn't as legendary. In the end, those 12+ years in development and what came out for Duke Nukem Forever? An average FPS that managed to also be unspectacular in being low brow outside of a few moment of being offensive (without much of the wit). I already knew this wasn't exactly going to be a good game but I also ended up disappointed because this wasn't even the worst game out there due to how it's pretty much average. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't bet on Duke. It has balls of fail, as he would say playing a pinball machine poorly.
P.S. The voice of Duke Nukem. You know what other character he did? Big the Cat from Sonic Adventure. Yeah, a character I know that tends to be seen a very lame. Let that sink in.
After the game getting infamous for being in development hell and the game being released (to critic's lashing), I have one thing to say.
It's a disappointment. However, it's not exactly what you're thinking when I say it's a disappointment.
(Oh and since it's Duke Nukem, we're getting into offensive territory, so brace yourselves)
Duke Nukem Forever is merely average. The game is playable but doesn't really stand out (in fact, I'll probably say the game does suffer from an identity crisis). I actually do see the graphics aren't that good that it really does look like an Xbox 360 launch title (funny enough, it was the Xbox 360 version I was playing here. Also, I have played Perfect Dark Zero, which was an Xbox 360 launch title and I got that feeling too from Duke Nukem Forever's graphics). As for gameplay, it's all over the place. The shooting is fine but one moment, you're blasting alien scumbags, next you're just interacting with the environment (as an entire level), then killing alien, then doing a puzzle, etc. It's hard to make out if it was any good. Actually I didn't seem to have any problems with it but they certain don't stand out in anyway.
Some of the jokes that aren't offensive just comes off as dated. When Duke is killing the pig enemies, he does make a remark about pork chop sandwiches. Also, there was a super armor similar to Master Chief from Halo, and Duke said it's for pussies (mocking the modern day mechanics of taking cover to recover health/shield, yet his game is using the same mechanics). Yeah, it would have worked better if the game was release around the first Halo and ended up being the smash hit that it became. Yet, they're taking a stab at it...when Halo's too busy celebrating its tenth anniversary. You know those parody movies like "Epic Movie" or "Date Movie"? It's like one of those.
As for the offensiveness (I mean it is Duke Nukem)...well, there's already that thing about the hive level (plus an abortion joke). Outside of that, any other jokes seem to fall flat on its face. I was reminded of stuff in the strip club level, where there was a poster of... Tampon parties? Yeah, I can't tell what the deal is with that. Are they desperately trying too hard with being offensive?
Then there's a couple of Olsen twins knockoffs and while they were only in the beginning, man they really grate me. It makes do one of those exaggerated acts of putting a fake gun to my head as a way to say, "End it now!" To get a little blue with the jokes here...this is supposed to be sexy? I'm sorry, my hormones ran away because they were turned off by the bimbos! Yeah, even my hormones were offended! Yeah, I'm a guy and even I find those two to be degrading to women! They practically say, "We are only good for having sex with and nothing more!"
Now, I can enjoy offensive material/jokes. I mean, I do watch South Park! The difference is that South Park can be offensive and witty. In fact, I also think of a movie the creators of South Park did, Team America: World Police. One bit about the three kinds of people in this world is pretty much the example I use for "Offensive but witty" from that movie. Oh yeah, while I'm on the topic of Team America: World Police, Duke Nukem did make a reference to it via, "America. FUCK YEAH!" (only thing is, it didn't really work in the game because there wasn't really anything satirical in referencing it at the spot. Not to mention, the catchy rock theme song is satirical). All I'm saying is that the offensive stuff I mentioned has none of the wit that South Park has when being offensive.
This was a punchline I made in regards to what conclusion I made in regards to Duke Nukem Forever:
"Okay, guys! I really am offended by Duke Nukem Forever!
I'm offended by how average the game is! I know it will never live up to the 12+ years of hype in development hell, but it can't even live up to the hype of being a crappy game? Yeah, even that aspect fail to live up to the hype."
Yeah, somehow, Duke Nukem Forever managed to failed at being low brow. Then again, let's be honest. The whole reason you even decided to play it is because the game was actually released. Yeah, doesn't even matter if someone was already a fan of Duke Nukem 3D. Novelty is mainly the only thing this game has going for it. Not even that dreadfully boring Xbox 360 RPG Too Human has that, which had almost as long of a time in development hell like DNF had but wasn't as legendary. In the end, those 12+ years in development and what came out for Duke Nukem Forever? An average FPS that managed to also be unspectacular in being low brow outside of a few moment of being offensive (without much of the wit). I already knew this wasn't exactly going to be a good game but I also ended up disappointed because this wasn't even the worst game out there due to how it's pretty much average. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't bet on Duke. It has balls of fail, as he would say playing a pinball machine poorly.
P.S. The voice of Duke Nukem. You know what other character he did? Big the Cat from Sonic Adventure. Yeah, a character I know that tends to be seen a very lame. Let that sink in.
